Barking up the wrong tree.....

There's been a spate of thefts from the shops in our area recently.

Mrs Reid in the wool shop had a load of cashmere skeins stolen. (The PC who came to investigate, asked if she was 'spinning him a yarn' and then laughed for ten minutes at his own joke.)

Freddie the Fish (not a giant haddock, just what our fishmonger's known as) had his briefcase stolen as he was cleaning the pavement before locking up. "It only contained fish livers and trimmings I was taking home to compost,'' Freddie told the PC. "He's a thief with lots of guts then," said the policeman, highly amused with himself.

This afternoon, when I thought I'd locked the bakery door, and was counting the takings, I looked up to see the most enormous figure in front of me. He was about 6'6, dressed completely in black, face hidden under a motorcycle helmet, and silently holding out a hand. I was about to be mugged by Darth Vader!

All sorts of bizarre things go through your mind in situations like this. I wondered what joke the PC would make afterwards.....

'He must have been a fruitcake.'

Or, 'Everything happens for a raisin.'

'Did he mac-a-ron for it?'


(Actually, even in the midst of a robbery, I was quite pleased with that one.....)