False brightness

I seem to be easily downhearted at the moment. Probably just got too much on and anxious about starting the new job; though the current focus of my struggle is around a school event which I agreed to organise but am now regretting - it is not being well supported and I am starting to resent doing it which is never a good place to be. Am struggling to suppress my flight instinct which in its most extreme moments has me fantasising about booking the four of us a one way ticket to a Caribbean Island. In reality I shall make do with counting down the hours until I can hide under my duvet and escape into a book. Actually that's not fair on the kids as it makes it sound like I want to escape them and so far they have been the nicest part of my day.

Oddly (or not) that cathartic little paragraph has made me feel a bit brighter. Perhaps more moaning is the answer!

I'm now tempted to delete all that as out loud it all sounds quite ridiculous and I fear I am in danger of losing my sense of humour, or at least my sense of perspective. But I shall leave it as a reminder to myself of how hard things can seem sometimes and the therapeutic result of getting things off your chest.

All in all a self indulgent blip. Nothing to see here...

Lesley x