Helena Handbasket

By Tivoli

Wisteria

The school wisteria has not a clue what season this is. There it is doing its thing in the first extra last Saturday. Whereas ours was over and done with before the end of April. To tell the truth the school wisteria always manages to keep flowering the whole summer long.

It's been a fun old day and I realise just how much we are beginning to step into line with traditional local ageing smallholders. If you happen to be at the premises of a traditional person about mid-morning then the chances are you'll be offered a glass of 'Farmako' which will be a somewhat dubious home-made high-octane beverage known to cure absolutely everything under the sun. We know this is true because it even tastes medicinal in a metallic kind of way. We also know that if you want to get anywhere or achieve anything later that same morning it's probably best to politely decline.

Whilst performing support tasks to the improved pool grouting details I had the most spectacular 10/10 slapstick fall. Both feet whooshed out in front of me and I landed absolutely square-as-a-coffee table flat on my back on the smooth and slippery pool tiles. It hurt. I wasn't sure how much damage I had done but the fact that I was able to get up (cautiously) and get myself out of the pool suggested there was no really serious damage. I have no doubt that landing any other way would have been a different story entirely.

So then the options were either to go and lie down with several glasses of muscle-relaxing 'farmako' or to sit upright in a car and be driven 30km at speed along twisty roads to see if the island X-ray machine was functioning. The muscles down both sides of my spine were indeed in spasm and we did have several large boxes of wine laid out on the kitchen worksurfaces, plus of course the designated driver now had two person's evening chores to perform.

Thankfully I have plenty of experience with significant back injury and reckoned I was safe enough to try the bed-and-wine option, which appears to be paying off (red wine & Valium has been known to work in the past). The lesson I must learn however is that we do live in a remote location and that I must take greater care, regardless of what that young doctor has to say about what I should and should not be doing.

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