A Man Out of Time

9th Jan is always one of “those days”. My beloved late Father’s birthday. He died 18 years ago and I miss him every single day but sometimes the volume just gets turned up, the scar in the heart sings a little louder.

I’ve written before of the long list of things I’m so grateful to him for. But over this past year, due to the work I’ve been doing, I’ve developed an ever deeper sense of profound gratitude for how ahead of his time he was - especially in relation to his attitudes to equality.

He was - I only now realise - a five-star-feminist of a Father. Expectations and barriers I now see were in the way of many others growing up were not there for me. He saw no limits for me - and never let me rest on my laurels either. Any expectations he did have were high and backed with an unshakable, quiet belief in my ability - no matter how many doubts I or others may have had. And I never - not for a single moment - ever doubted how much he loved me; a gift that is not given to all children.

Given the periods and world events he lived through - he was born in 1909 - you would perhaps expect the cultures he experienced to have shaped him differently. Yet he confounded all of the stereotypes that could apply - across all aspects of equality, tolerance and democracy. He is proof to me that that phrase “oh, they’re old, you can’t expect them to understand...xxx” just doesn’t wash.

Here he is at the end of the Second World War - he was RAF but a radio expert so was attached to the Navy to set up specialist listening operations. He looks like a film star I reckon.

I miss that face and his sparkling eyes.

Happy Birthday my darling Dad - always your girl x