Thursday

Doctor first thing. Got prescription.
Text Kelly to see if I could take Lewis to the park reply was 'thanks but no thanks'. I was gutted.
Lay on sofa for 6hrs dozing and watching crap tv.
Psychiatrist appointment. Started off well by actually seeing the same woman as last time. I told her how the last three months had been. She went into a big monologue about the brain and how it works and sometimes for no apparent reason. I was asked what my strategies were to stop self harming. I said none because it was easier to self harm then feel better. We talked about strategies I could adopt.
We talked about the court case and the repercussions.
She asked if anyone had ever mentioned personality disorders. I was taken aback and said no. She directed me to a few websites to look at.
I am to see her next month where she'll discuss self harm courses/groups, organise a CPN and discuss a diagnosis of a personality disorder.

45mins later and my head was buzzing. I drove along to Cramond and went for a walk through the trees.