Ready to commit murder?

Tonight I took part in a murder mystery evening to raise funds for the local church.

My role:- Herb Atious Border - You are a gardener for 'Speedy'. You cut flowers for the Rev. Trew. You also cut flowers for Lord Gettiesjust-Desserts (deceased).
Costume:- A pair of old patched garden trousers with string instead of a belt, an old shirt and jumper with holes in the sleeves and a pair of wellies.

The above was the only information I was given prior to the event. During the course of the evening I found that with my knowledge of plants I had written a book entitled 'How to get rid of pests' I then found my long lost sister Naomi Heinz (supermodel) was at the table, that I had murdered both our parents as they were so cruel to us (with weedkiller), I also had a brief affair with a famous actress Semi Less until she went off with the actor Cecil Bidet Mills and have now turned my affections to Ima X Quisite, a Swedish au-pair!! I was being blackmailed by Lord J.P. Gettiesjust-Desserts - but despite all this I DID NOT MURDER HIM!!

It was a great evening and we had about 60 diners trying to figure out which one of us was the murderer. There were so many red herrings that nobody worked out it was Speedy the racing driver who was promptly arrested by PC Nick M.N. Bookem!