A Different Angle....

'Hey, you! Yes, you with the camera and the turquoise scales! Stop taking my photo. It's intrusive!'

'They're not scales - they're toenails. And how am I being intrusive? You're only a fish!'

'Only a fish? Only a fish? Don't you know who I am?'

'Umm....no.'

'I, you stupid woman, am the Loch Ness Monster!'

'You can't be. This is Loch Tay.'

'Well yes, but that's because I moved house. I was sick to death of being unable to take the kids swimming without some eejit attempting to film us. Once, someone actually tried to photograph me when I was in the loo, papering the reeds!'

'Papering the....? Don't you mean reading the papers?'

'No, papering the reeds. I recycle bits of rubbish that your lot chuck overboard.
I've got the bedrooms completely decorated with newsprint, bottle tops, ringpulls, and even a photo of a bright orange man in a blonde wig.'

'Trump?'

'I most certainly did not. It's just the way the bubbles rise at times....'