Tennyson Tax Break

The Beast from the East comes ever closer, the temperature is dropping and tomorrow will probably be the last day that will be bearable for the coming two weeks. No snow though, just cold and wind and with wind chill factored in, doubtful we will get above freezing point.

I was forced to stay indoors and get back to doing the tax return. Nowadays it is even worse that so many important documents are no longer sent in paper form but stored somewhere by the company/supplier/shipper/payment agency etc on their website, the passwords for which have long since been forgotten. Once you find them it's simple but alone remembering what you did almost two years ago has to be gleaned from bank statements (which are also only on-line) and then some of the entries are very obtuse - 1/1/2017: Xi-Ho-Ping Trading Co: 5.99€ turns out to be the stupid Xmas hat for the dog that arrived too late anyway.

I, of course, get heavily criticised for not doing the tax returns in the early summer and now get even more criticised when not helping to clear away the masses of leaves from the hundreds of trees and shrubs on our property. Bean counting is considered, by the-one-who-must-be-obeyed, a waste of time.

But she should know better. In the photo, she is clearing leaves just outside my office with large ceiling to floor windows. One she smashed a year or two back with a stone that was shot out from the mower and today three stones whacked against the windows, luckily with no damage. You may just see a dark figure in the bushes ahead of the mower. One of around 30 of our chickens that scratch around under the shrubs and threw out the small stones.

Under German tax law, the cost of replacing the windows can be set off against tax - the labour part. As could the cost of a gardener who could rake and sweep this small area by hand. In fact, so could an au-pair if we employed one to look after me, and a cook to bring me regular supplies of coffee and bacon sandwiches, a cleaner to clear up the mass of paper strewn on the floor. As indeed could any craftsmen who set foot on our property - the chimney sweep, the electrician, the roofer, the drain clearer.

But only if those we employ directly (au pair, cleaner) are registered and earn no more than 450€/month and all craftsmen are registered as self-employed, carry out the work on our premises, present VAT invoices and are paid by bank transfer, and excludes all materials costs - just labour. Work done off-site is not allowed except if it is a tax accountant whose fees are allowed.

Gets very complicated - third party/public liability insurance is also deductible from tax. We have 9 such policies - 2 x car, 1 x tractor, 2 x trailers, 1 x us as persons, 1 x dogs, 1 x horses, 1 x boat. I ought to have one for the bees but keep meaning to join the local club, the membership of which would automatically give me cover and indeed that proportion of the annual membership fee could be used for tax! Cats and chickens are held unaccountable for the damage they cause. Tax on dogs (poo), chickens and horses (infectious pest/disease) are not deductible unless they are part of a commercial operation. Commercial, including renting accommodation gets really interesting. If we could rent out our garden shed as a luxury second home to someone from Hamburg (far away who never comes) then we could offset everything we need to maintain the shed - screwdriver machine onwards to mortgage...... just need to be able to prove that one day the enterprise will throw out a profit.

So alone for the above liability insurance tax deduction, I need to find the nine policy invoices and in the case of the cars, work out what part is the liability and what part accident cover. And of course, I need to have the original invoice to give to the tax people for them to inspect.

That means every single till receipt from a chemist for prescription medicine, the central heating maintenance bill, the £3 annual BT dividend certificate on the 10 shares I still have, all health and accident insurance policy payments (incl. NHS contributions, extra additional dentist insurance, private holiday travel) every penny or cent of savings interest from bank accounts (haha at the moment), how many days one worked, how many off sick, evidence of how many kilometres travel to work and be prepared to provide evidence such as garage workshop service invoices showing the speedometer reading and thus that one didn't hitch a ride with a friend, life insurance policies .....

They say the German tax system is the most complicated in the world. What it seems to prove to me is that the more money you have (and spend), the more money you can save. I guess that was always true but somehow feel the balance has been lost and simply adds to the disgusting disparity between rich and poor and worse between hard working low paid workers and bosses.

I would rather be out mowing up leaves. Angie is wearing my chainsaw protection hat as it has nice warm ear protectors and she had also been using the leaf blower that is on the tree stump behind the mower. I did get to do an evening walk after sunset with Luna and could have done with the ear protectors. The wind had picked up nicely and was according to my mobile phone turning the mercury +3°C into "Real Feel" -1°C.

PS Many of the ideas behind the ancient German tax laws do/did have a purpose, not least of which is employing lots of tax accountants and civil servants The idea of the tax breaks on craftsmen and persons employed in the household is to stop the "black economy". Many other off-site businesses where cash transactions are common have said it disadvantages them e.g. car garages and hairdressers.

It also makes me laugh when I hear Mrs May talk of the referendum being about taking back control of our laws, borders and money. I listened to her nonsense on LBC radio this morning while digging around for my BT certificate. Now British craftsmen won't be able to work on the continent. At the moment we can quite legally use a British chimney sweep and still comply with strict German national law and set off his invoice against tax. That one simple example shows the depth of pig-ignorance which is being broadcast from the very top and at the cost of those way down the social-class-ridden British society.
I think I will personally strangle the next money loaded politician or businessman that talks about the undemocratic EU mafia and in the same breath check their mobiles to see if Mrs May has awarded them a peerage to the House of Lords for "services to the country.

What a country, being led over a cliff by a person adamantly against it and being opposed by a man who has fought for decades to do just that.

“Forward, the Light Brigade!”

Was there a man dismayed?

Not though the soldier knew

   Someone had blundered.

   Theirs not to make reply,

   Theirs not to reason why,

   Theirs but to do and die.

   Into the valley of Death

   Rode the six hundred."