And the answer is . . .
. . . a lemon. Not the most exciting Blip of the year, but it's what happened today, so here it is!
Mrs M told me that Lidl were selling lemon bushes complete with lemons, so I thought I'd pop in for a look even though I've got nowhere to put one. All that was left was one scruffy object with a broken branch in a dirty pot with no price tag and no lemons, so I sought out a member of staff who sent for the man in charge. He agreed that it wasn't a pretty sight, but blamed the kids 'who kick things about'.
They were originally priced at £17.99, but I suggested that he probably wouldn't have the nerve to put a price on this one, so he gave it to me. I cleaned it up and repotted it and it looks a great deal better, but I still don't have anywhere to put it!