After yesterday...

...I went to my optician's hoping to see my ophthalmic optician, to explain about yesterday at the eye hospital and how to get a second opinion.

But he was off sick this week, and there was no one else qualified to help me. However, another optician there realised something was up once I started speaking. So he listened. He gave me over an hour of his time and was patient with me.

As soon as I said what happened yesterday, he said that was not right. It was wrong on many levels. He was shaking his head. There was not a proper diagnosis explained to me etc. He explained he was also diabetic and if he had experienced what I experienced yesterday he would have been very upset, and like me have no confidence in the proceedings.

He could not medically advise me, because he was not qualified to do so, he explained, but he would write it all down and send to R my ophthalmic optician.

He spent a long time reassuring me because he said he could see I was very distressed about it (my voice starts rising and gets very loud). And one of the first things he said was 'You are in control. No one can make you have an operation. It is your choice, whatever the circumstances, not to go ahead with any treatment or operation if that is what you want to do.'

He could see I had been literally railroaded into a particular course of action with no choices explained to me.

This guy was very calm, he talked in an even confident tone of voice. He said he would talk to me as long as I needed. He made an appointment for late next week with R for me. But in the meantime if R finds any information which suggests urgency in this matter, I will be called in on Monday to see him. He reminded me again I always had options, whatever my choice of options was.

He was a lifesaver for me. My internal body calmed down.

He complimented me on my badges. I was wearing the I'm deaf badge, and the face me I lipread badge. I explained I had another badge, and that I had only worn them yesterday for the first time. So he asked to see the other badge. I got it out of my bag, and he immediately said get rid of the I'm deaf badge because that makes you vulnerable in the street (I was already concerned about vulnerability and had a scarf ready to hide them, but move the scarf to expose the badges at the cash till etc). And to put the please be patient badge on instead. And have the face me I lipread badge on the top. Like in the photo. Between them they explain everything you need, he said.

That's much better, he said. You can wear those two safely in the street, because someone has to stop and read them. But the I'm deaf badge exposed me as a vulnerable person in his mind. (I was already thinking this myself, because yesterday when I parked the car this group of three dodgy men grouped near me, one looked at the I'm Deaf badge, and made a lewd suggestive movement, it was the only one badge I had on at that point. I didn't like the situation so got away quick on my mobility scooter.)

The kind optician carried on talking a bit longer, and checked I was completely fine before I left.

Anyway, I went to the shops. I felt more confident with the badges now. And every cashier interaction I had, and all other interactions I had with strangers were all very positive. These were the right two badges to wear. Usually I am exhausted with interactions with cashiers and strangers, but these two badges in combination made everything more pleasant, and cashiers didn't get impatient with me for not realising the amount they said.

I wish I had thought of doing these badges before. I had no idea they could be so life changing. When I got home, some preliminary work was being done on my drains. The guy came up to explain, but I didn't grasp what he said. Then he saw and read the badges, so went a bit slower in what said and explained more easily, and he smiled! And explained I had nothing to worry about the drains. The water board would take care of it.

I will be making a couple of spare badges (the same), in case I lose one or it gets knocked off. so I won't be doing any more new designs.

By the way, if anyone wants to copy my badge idea for their personal use, you are welcome to do so. You may copy them exactly as I have done them if you wish. I would love it if this could help others.

Thank you for all your comments and love last few days, I will catch up and reply.

Take care x

P.S. Popeye took over my bed when I went out. He did a massive yawn on one photo, but the iPad shutter was slow and just caught the grimace at the end!