Church

This thing happened again today where I wake up early and struggle to get back to sleep because I’m too on edge, nervous. I’d say it’s about the GP but that does seem rather premature. I simultaneously can’t wait for Wednesday and am somewhat scared.

I wasn’t feeling very happy as I walked to church, late as ever. But once I’d got going there with Sunday school, I wasn’t too bad. I did do my whole ‘ahh how will I get through the whole of the rest of the session...’ a bit.

My fear about having to interact with somebody I had sent a message to earlier in the week was one that I’d decided I didn’t have the energy to think about. So sort of just didn’t and it all turned out fine. Well, ish. I did feel several bursts of embarrassment and urges to cut after. But I mean I’m always in a funny state after any social occasion.

In the afternoon, I wanted to nap but pushed it back till 5 to spend time with the housemate. Later than ideal...

The next couple of days feel a bit dauntingly empty in places. At least I get to text Brent an update in the morning. I was feeling glad about that when I just suddenly felt like I might die in the night. The darkness went almost as quick as it came though. But it is a bit scary if I stop and think. Psalm 91:4a ‘I will cover him with my feathers’. I’m safe, I’m safe in Him.