Two kilometres as the great blue heron flies
If you don't have a crow at hand.
It's actually not that great a blue heron. Let's call it an ok heron or a passable heron.
This specimen spends most of his days waiting for the return of the Chinese anglers at the end of the pier. See what I mean? Not a great blue heron at all. He doesn't read or watch the news, online or otherwise.
He may have to wait for quite a while before his benefactors come back to feed him fish guts...
In the meantime, he is shitting all over my diving board.