Friends...

in high places! Little Ro has been loaned her friend's Ferrari, for the whole week it turns out! She's quite enjoyed it. 

Finally today it clouded over and the day's temperature felt much more comfortable. 

I had planned to finish a few bits for college etc, but I checked my emails and was relieved but quite surprised that I received an interview for Level 4. I immediately texted one friend from my group who was really pleased for me. She got one too, even though she'd already decided to leave it until next year.

True to form, the group chat was dead quiet.... leaving she and I to wonder who had and who hadn't. It can't just be the two of us out of twelve? I've done a lot of overthinking, but it feels stressful because I suppose I measure my worth by comparing myself to others. 

I was really pleased just to get an interview, as I was feeling defeated because they aren't interviewing everyone. Now I'm worrying what they'll ask and it'll be worse somehow to get it wrong at the last hurdle! But I suppose this way if I don't get a place, at least I'll know I tried, and I was given a chance. 

I hashed all of this out with my therapist last night, and felt a little more content. I have registered to volunteer with the Samaritans, but no training can be done as yet due to the virus. But if I don't get a place I suppose I will throw myself into that, as I think it might be valuable learning. 

I did also get an invitation to interview at another college, which is good, but it's pretty generic, with the letter titled 'dear potential student'...;-) This one is a week later, and requires a piece of writing as they don't know me from Adam, but I'll use this weekend to get it done. I have to put all my effort into doing the best I can with both, as I'd like to think I will get a place somewhere.

I never realised just how important this was to me.