Feeling Your Presence Inside&Outside

After much of this Wednessday was spend on householdactivities, while the oilheater got its annual service-check, a more quiet part of the afternoon set in. I did not read in a concentrated way, but sometimes dosed off. Never mind, I’m really glad to have my lust for lecture back. Really, the first three or four months after Your Disappearance, I could not read a line. Never before I felt so blocked even to pick up my favorite texts. Later on I will tell you more about this slow re-habilitation of a different kind of reading capacity.
Though I must confess, that I will never equal the speed with which You used to devour your romanesque litterature. We have different ways to handle our books. You, the booksellers kid were always absorbed in some old book, curious to discover what it was about. And in the course of the years you collected your own special little library. Overcoming your loss of all your favorite childrens books. Your father took them away without asking and sold them before you could rescue even one.
Now your Alices and Pinoccios are waiting in vain on one of Our Dusty Dutch Bookshelfs. I could ask Mischa to read some fragment aloud on Skype for Both of Us. But look what happened surprisingly. Suddenly the thick grey clouded sky broke open and a flash of sunbeams hit Our interior. I dashed for my camera and took two shots. One  on the inside one on the outside view. And I felt Your Godgiven Presence both over there and here in Your cherished bookcase, ThankYousomuch, my DearestDarling.

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