Monkey business

No politics today...I need therapy!

He started as a cute conversation starter within the neighbourhood, "have you seen the monkey?" And we would then talk about how he would sleep on so-and-so's veranda and pop into so-and-so's garden and we would all laugh and that was that.

But this cute little monkey has now grown and has moved back to the neighbourhood with his wife, kids and a few in-laws. And now it is far from cute! They now swarm like locusts and and have a scorched-earth policy. Avocados and bananas are the favourites but I am sure they will also enjoy the mangoes and spinach.

I am a victim! I am a statistic in the ever increasing number of incidents of wildlife vs urbanisation! Ok, thankfully I am not reporting elephants in my back yard. But the Kenya Wildlife Service tried to take one or two away a few months ago but they are clever creatures and now the family is reunited and stronger than ever.

The monkeys come into our yard, hang on the banana trees taking what they want and leaving the rest for the next day, torment the dogs and then swing on into the neighbours yard when they see me running with a sling shot and a few stones (no broken windows in the neighbours houses yet, I am pleased to announce). But we sat in the yard yesterday and realised that what used to be ornamental banana trees now look like a train wreck. And so I decided to sacrifice them and cut them all down.

Not to worry, they will grow back when the rains start in another few weeks but it is painful nonetheless.

So what you see here is a cross section of the 'trunk'. I believe the entire tree is nearly 90% water. But no matter how big the tree trunk is, you can usually bring it down with a carving knife (don't tell my wife). The little compartments you see here are thus full of watery 'sap' which grows the thing to be taller than my house. The only problem is that the sap can stain like anything and never comes out so be careful what you wear when cutting it down.

Thank you for the therapy. I shall now set off to repair my sling shot and to wait for that 'cute little monkey' and get ready to go blip tomorrow's elections.