cold people of the world, unite.

The first warning shot came from the grey mass of clouds that hung over the sea. A hailstone the size of a tennis ball, travelling just over the speed of light, interrupted my gaze by smashing straight into my pupil. I turned around, clutching my partially destroyed eyeball and muffling my screams of agony. Then, from the skies, a barrage of ice, the likes of which unseen since the battle of Hoth. Ice comets, pounding my back. But I stood my ground.

My hands started to swell up with the impact of these mini-ice meteors, but somehow I was bravely able to carry on taking photographs. I could only open my one remaining eye intermittently. Reverse winking. Indeed, I had to use my display screen to find shelter. In the distance, a light. The meteoroids of death continued to pummel the back of my head. Reverse brain freeze. I struggled on and climbed off the beach, alone, sole witness this isolated case of icy onslaught.