Eight

Husband H can't resist a challenge. He was once dared to scale the Scott Monument wearing nothing but his undercrackers. Unfortunately, they got snagged on a gargoyle and were last seen floating off in the wind (which is where his legal career would have gone too, had the arresting officer not found the entire thing very funny.)

Anyway, he's decided to take my sister's husband out to lunch at the club, to find out if he is indeed having an affair.

"Don't go all QC on him'' I pleaded. ''He's not on trial.''

"What one earth do you think I'm going to say? 'I put it to you, the accused, that you're having morally reprehensible relations with a person or persons as yet unknown?'"

"Oh stop it. You know you can't say that. He'd never understand the long words!"

"Ok. Then how about ' The prosecution finds this almost incredible to believe, given the fact that you have the wit and personality of a peanut; but I have evidence you're putting it about a bit. Yes or no?' "

We decided he'd just casually mention the socks and take it from there....


Que sera, sera (as Doris Day might say).