By dunkyc

Show time!

I should say from the start that I don’t like New Year’s Eve. Never have.

It is hard to explain why and I am unable to point to one thing in my psyche and say “it’s because of that!” 

I suspect that it might be the “fresh start” aspect of it all, particularly in a job which is cyclical and is targeted by the calendar year. This means that regardless of how good or bad the year has been, come the following January, you are back at zero and have to start all over again. Coming off the back of an incredibly difficult (yet successful) year, feeling beaten up already and with the challenges our business is facing at present, I know that 2022 is shaping up to be a doozy.

From a personal point of view, I had thought and hoped that as we moved into the new year, I would be fit and ready for human consumption, but that is clearly not the case and some lingering toxicity remains. I had initially thought that maybe I have taken a couple of steps back in terms of my mental health, but maybe I just wasn’t as far along as I first thought?

I do accept that there is no shame in taking a pill to assist with an obvious chemical imbalance, but regardless I can’t help but feel disappointed in myself in not being able to deal with it “naturally”. At the time of writing this, I am one week in to taking them and currently feel like my brain has been put through a tumble dryer, when combined with the interrupted sleep pattern and tortuous dreams, it makes for quite the heady combination. I am reliably informed that this will settle down and I just need to stay the course, which I shall.

That all sounds very negative and downbeat, doesn’t it? It isn’t though and here is why…

The business challenges have and will always be there. They’re not unlike a certain virus as they change, mutate and cause disruption, but I operate in a tight, friendly unit who will continue deal with these issues as they come up and we will bring each other through as we always do. Also, it is just work. 

As for the personal stuff, it is really quite simple: I am fortunate enough to be a father of three bright and brilliant children with whom I share an unconditional love. They need my influence and guidance in their lives and I would happily take a thousand pills a day if it helped me to give them that. Seeing them grow, helping them to work through their own challenges and frustrations, but most importantly, just having fun and enjoying them remains the single most important thing in my life.

There are also plenty of other things to look forward to such as the impending arrival of my new niece or nephew, a potential house project, a best friend’s wedding and no doubt plenty of wonderful things and surprising developments which I am not yet aware of, but for which the chain of events have already been set into motion.

I am not one for resolutions, but I am taking one simple goal into 2022 and beyond: spend less time in my own head, so I can be present to enjoy the show. I have plenty of extras remaining, so to supplement this long form blip I wanted to pick one photo from each month which meant something to me or prompted a nice memory. It was incredibly hard to do, because as I scrolled through them all, I was reminded of just how great this year’s “show” has been and the extras could have been three times as long - but I have spared you that much at least!

Thank you for stopping by to read my daily ramblings this year, it is genuinely appreciated, it really is and to those who have taken the time to comment with kind words, advice, support and yes, even well-placed p*ss taking, I give you an extra special thank you coupled with a warm hug!

Happy New Year to you and yours, gentle reader, I hope that 2022 is kind to you!

Dunkyc. x

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