TICK TOCK

I can take as many photos of myself as I like, but none can ever show the world what is going on inside me right now better than this.

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Backstory for new followers, sorry if it is TMI but I think a rather dramatic photo like this deserves an explanation... if I choose to post it, I need to choose to explain it, I think.

My husband and i have been trying to have a child for 13 years. I will be 38 years old next month. I have had 8 failed IUI (intra-uterine insemination) treatments and have had weight loss surgery to lose over 140 lbs to allow me to move on to IVF before it is too late.

We will be beginning our first IVF treatment one week from now. Our future has been uncertain for a very long time and it has been a very long, stressful and painful road for us so far.

So yeah, this is what it would look like if you could look inside of me. My biological clock clicking out of control, my mind a whir of thoughts regarding my situation and just a lot of anxiety and uncertainty.

On the plus side, one way or the other we will be able to finally move on from this before the year is out. So the end of this 365 project will see me moving on to a new life, I guess we all just have to wait and see what life it will be!

This feels so personal, but that's my project... it's about my life, accepting the curve balls life throws me and learning to love myself in spite of it all. So, you are all invited along for the ride!