Standard...

"My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate."
Katharine Hepburn

Maud: Pray tell oh Pud of the sabbath, what is that orb in the sky?

Pud: It's an alien ship landing.

Maud: Is it?

Pud: Nah! It's this thing we call the sunshine.

Maud: Is it?

Pud: Nah!

Maud: What is it then?

Pud: I believe we call it a standard lamp.

Maud: Standard?

Pud: Because it has to reach a certain standard. Like qualifications - to be acceptable. And be certified as standard. We all do. They call it British Standard standard.

Maud: Do we?

Pud: Nah.

Pause

Maud: I wonder what happens if you're sub-standard.

Pud: You're not...

Maud looks around....

Maud: I wasn't worried about us, Pud



I am busy correcting. And writing a play. And some plans.