Day 2

After Charlie was born yesterday morning we were taken to recovery where he fed for the first time and where he got to meet his grandparents. I also got to have the best tea and jam on toast *ever* after not being allowed to eat anything during labour.

They kept us in recovery for a few hours. Charlie was fine but it was my turn for my blood pressure to drop so they kept me on oxygen for a while, although I was repeatedly being told off for removing my mask. It just got in the way of smooching with my son!

Finally we were moved to the post-natal ward which was very busy and ridiculously hot! Our curtained booth was directly opposite the nurses station and it was LOUD. My hard core post-op drugs had worn off by now and I was feeling lousy so the noise and heat just exacerbated it. Plus every baby in the 30+ bed ward had his/her turn at crying at some point so it was a little chaotic.

On one hand it was great to miss the 'pushing' phase of labour but I was starting to feel the downside to the CSection. Robin went to the canteen whilst Charlie was in the hospital crib next to me but almost as soon as he was out of earshot Charlie started to splutter and cough up a dark, tar-like substance (more meconium). He was lying on his back making horrific noises and I was panicking that he was going to choke but I couldn't physically move to get to him. He was just out of arms reach. I was about to scream and shout when a midwife came in and turned him on his side. :(

With the heat, noise, crying and my new state of hyper alertness to every sound Charlie was making, I didn't get any sleep last night. Which, given that we didn't sleep the night before either meant I haven't slept at all so far this year!

Robin was shattered too but stayed with us as per a new, very welcome allowance for fathers to stay on the post-natal ward with their partner. Unfortunately there's no space for them to be given cots and the plastic chairs are ridiculously uncomfortable so I let Robin get up on the bed with me - and quickly snapped the picture above. My boys look so alike, especially when they sleep.

This morning I sent Robin back home for a much-needed sleep and he tagged in my mum to keep us company. She helped massively, especially when the nurse came to remove my catheter (TMI!) and get me walking. I was a little wobbly and dizzy but felt much better being off the bed. It hurt to stand up straight so I was a bit 'hobbly' as I made my way to the communal showers but I felt much better once I was out of the hospital gown and in my own pj's.

Typically as soon as I had used the (rather grim) shower on the ward and got back to my bed, a midwife came over to say a private room had become free and they'd like me to have it. I could have kissed her! The previous night had been so awful I was just desperate for some peace and quiet.

We moved ourselves down the hall and into my new room. It could've been a suite at the Hilton, I was so pleased. It had an ensuite and room for mum and dad to sneak in together and visit me along with Robin (breaking the 2 visitors only rule). Mum fetched my surprisingly nice dinner just as Robin came back.

Charlie hadn't slept much either and did his fair share of crying last night as he struggled to feed. The midwife said his little rosebud mouth is quite small so he might find it difficult til he gets bigger. I must've asked about 5 midwives today for help with feeding as he's been crying for food constantly. Infuriatingly they've all said he's latched on fine despite the pain and his protests.

In the end Robin went and fetched some ready made formula to supplement what he was getting from me. I saw it as an admission of failure initially but although I'm still determined to breastfeed it's more important he feed at this point so I'm not going to work myself up about introducing a teat at this stage.