Growing old disgracefully

By GOD

SIGNS OF SUMMER

Flowers are forming on the blackcurrant bushes and my neighbour saw a swallow this morning. Now I know one swallow doth not a summer make, but I tell you, it was so hot this morning I had to shade my eyes and roll up my trouser legs while I lay on the lounger.

I gave up chocolate three weeks ago and went back to it yesterday - guess what, my energy started to return about an hour afterwards. You may think that causality remains to be proven, but I believe my body has simply been reacting to chocolate starvation. Energy is slowly returning and I am nurturing it like a new born child - half an hour work in the garden = a cup of tea and a wee bar of chocolate. An hour on the computer = a cup of tea and big bar of chocolate. Housework - they don't make chocolate bars big enough for that.

Working in this paced manner, I actually got quite a bit done, but more importantly, I took my old body out into the morning and sang

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