Stack Em, Pack Em, & Rack Em/Backpack Tips

When we last saw our intrepid backpackers, they were in their campsite in the wilds of Sproul State Forest, it was dusk, and coyotes were howling, growling, and yipping not far away, in pursuit of an elk. What should we do? Take cover? Run? But where? And how? And what about the gear?

"Where's your whistle?" my husband asked. And I realized in sudden horror that when I switched cameras and camera bags a month ago, the whistle I used to carry never made it into the new bag. My husband had a whistle somewhere in his gear, but he was not sure where.

We had music playing - The Hooters, with Hooterization, one of my favorites. I guess we could have turned it up to try and scare them off, but the music didn't go that loud, and besides, who's afraid of the Hooters? Nobody, that's who!

"I've got a knife!" I said hopefully, pointing to my Boker picnic set, which is a nice backpacking thing, a knife, fork, and spoon tucked into one handy, easy-to-pack item. The knife was only about a four-inch blade, though. How would it do against a pack of coyotes?

And later, by the way, we would laugh ourselves silly over this remark. My husband about fell off his chair the next night, regaling me with the tale of his brave Methodist wife, brandishing a Boker four-inch blade, single-handedly holding off a half-dozen to a dozen wild, hungry coyotes, as they growled and snarled their way toward us out of the darkness, their hackles raised, their fangs dripping with blood.

But that is not what happened next. What actually DID happen next is that my heart began pounding at about two hundred miles a minute, and I thought I might have a nervous breakdown. T. Tiger, for his part, tried to climb into the box with the goldfish crackers. And I suddenly wished I'd let him bring along the BIGGER box, which for sure, all of us could fit inside!  ;-)

Then - glory glory! - the elk took a turn in another direction, the coyotes followed, and the howls and yips and growls slowly faded away into the darkness. My husband was less flipped out by the whole thing than I was; in minutes, we were back to our routines, listening to more music, enjoying another drink or two before bed. We'd survived, unscathed!

The moon did not help us much on this trip, but we kept our lanterns lit, and we did hear the coyotes again a few times overnight (they woke me up again at quarter past midnight, and a few times more), but they never came that close again, thank goodness. And it did get cold: our overnight low was 37 degrees F.

And so when morning came, we packed up our gear over the course of a few hours, and headed back to the car, where additional provisions awaited. In this photo, you may see our friend Chewy (possibly a sloth, but I'm not sure; named Chewy for Chewbacca, of course, whom he resembles) perched atop all of my gear.

On the bottom is my blue Kelty backpack. Above that, in order, are: my sleeping pads and blankets and pillow, sleeping bag, tent, and small black fleece bag. (It will all get strapped onto the outside of the pack with bungee cords.) Inside the backpack are all of the rest of my clothes, empty bottles, garbage, etc. Pack it in, pack it out, as we say in the backwoods! And now, let's head for home!

Now I've got a soundtrack song for this image, and I think it fits our scenario. Here are the Hooters, with Nervous Night.  :-)

-----------------Backpack Tips------------------

I decided it might be fun to provide some backpacking tips, for any of you who may be curious. So here is a list, in no particular order, that may be helpful to wanna-be backpackers. This is not necessarily advice as to how YOU should backpack. This talks about how WE do it. :-)

Always carry at least two lights. Try any flashlights or headlamps before packing them. Every single time.

A set of battery-powered Christmas lights can make your camping area seem more festive.

If you can afford a tent, buy a decent one, and make it as luxurious as you can. One tent for each camper. In the beginning, we did not even have a single tent between us. The following things happened to me during that time: I've had huge spiders run over my face in the middle of the night (do not recommend, 0 out of 10, yuck), I've levitated when a mouse ran over my sleeping bag (levitation witnessed and confirmed by husband; now awaiting my second miracle prior to assigning sainthood, LOL!), and I've had a porcupine chew and ruin my favorite L.L. Bean boots that were sitting by my head as I slept. Yeah, a tent is marvy. My current tent is a three-man (yes, THREE-man) Alps Mountaineering Zenith with two side zipper doors. I love it!

Tamp tent stakes firmly down into the ground so you don't trip on them.

No matter what, don't step on your tent poles; they snap easily and may be costly or impossible to replace.

Dry out your gear before packing it up; your gear will be dryer in the morning if you camp under a canopy rather than out in the open.

If you camp in a pine forest, check all your gear for pine pitch before packing it up.

A little hand sanitizer will remove pine pitch from gear, but rub it gently if it's on critical gear (tent, etc.).

Check for hanging things in the trees or things fallen from pockets, chairs, etc., before you leave.

Take along a special snack or treat you don't get every day so that you have something to look forward to.

Hydrate, sunblock, and moisturize. Ultra-cold weather dehydrates you FAST. Years ago, we camped out in Quehanna at 7 degrees F, without tents, and when I stood up in the morning, down I went! Boom! Dropped like a stone! I was woozy and dehydrated. Drink up when you wake up in the morning to restore fluids.

Time your departure to miss local big-ticket events. For us, that can mean timing our travels around PSU game-day traffic on key routes.

Never leave home without a real knife, fork, and spoon. Metal ones, if possible.

My husband and I do not have cell phones, never had them. Don't count on a cell phone for communication, entertainment, rescue, or Internetting while in the Pennsylvania wilds; chances are you can't get any bars out here!

A small hand towel, a small bottle of soap/detergent, and a small bottle of tap water will come in handy at clean-up time.

Just before you leave home, stuff a bunch of tissues into your pockets. You'll need them somewhere along the line.

Don't leave the house without paper and pen.

Plan a food stop on the way to backpacking, and on the way home. This will give you happy food to remember and happy food to anticipate. Food means a lot to hungry backpackers.

Take along more drinks and toilet paper than you think you'll need.

It's more fun to camp out if you take your music along.

Even if your map says there is a water source nearby, take your own water along. I figure three bottles of water per overnight trip, plus any additional drinks you'd like. Make sure the lids are screwed on tight.

Pack any medications the night before you go, and tuck them into your purse or bag so you don't forget them. If timing is key to meds, a watch with an alarm or something similar may be useful to remind you.

Keep a checklist of key backpacking items and check it before you walk out the door.

Tuck a couple of empty plastic bags into your backpack.

Minimize other exercise on the day before and the day after backpacking; your ankles and knees will be tired enough, believe me.

You would do well to check some key info before you go: what time is sunrise, what time is sunset, when is moonrise, what is the moon phase, what are daily highs and overnight lows expected to be. A smart backpacker camps during the light of the full moon.

Take along battery-powered lanterns for the campsite. We have two sets of small LED lanterns, and my husband lights at least one at dusk, and leaves it on all night. A light at the campsite makes it easier to find in the dark, should you stroll away for any reason.

Photographers, anticipate your needs in regard to batteries, memory cards, etc. Know that cold weather can drain a battery fast and plan accordingly. Warming a cold battery under your armpit may give it a bit more life. If you fog up your lens at the wrong time, you may be deeply screwed, and you just could miss the best part of the show. A failed or full memory card can be a real bummer.

If you are female, peeing at night may not be as easy as you think. If you camp in a place where there are ticks, poison ivy, and/or rattlesnakes (yes, yes, and yes), you might NOT want to get out of the tent at night, in the dark, in a semi-awake state. A small, wide-mouthed, clear plastic jug with lid can be just the thing to get you through. Set it off to the side inside your tent, on top of a small towel. Use it when you need to and put the lid on tight immediately.

As far as backpacking clothes go, I personally only ever hike in long pants. The ferns can be tall, the brush can be thick, I often can't even SEE my feet, and there may be ticks, spiders, poison ivy, and snakes about.

You can take any amenity backpacking that you want to, but you must carry it in AND out on your back! So if you want to travel like they did in Out of Africa, do it! But as you strap on your Limoges china and your phonograph, don't come complaining to me! (Said the girl who travels with a hundred or so stuffed animals.)

My husband often takes a second, lightweight shoe along to wear around camp; I do not. Pick a pair of backpacking boots that are easy to slip off and on when untied so that you can get in and out of the tent without it being a big deal.

Pack it in, pack it out. Take your garbage with you. Every single bit of it. (As a girl, I take a small jug with a lid to pee in in my tent at night; in the morning, I dump it, wash it out with soap and water, wipe it out, and use it to transport garbage OUT.)

A half-groundsheet will be a godsend. You can use it to park your gear during set-up and clean-up.

A 16- to 20-foot clothes line can be used to air out and dry out gear and clothing.

Take extra socks and underwear, and a whole fresh outfit to sleep in: something comfy, lightweight, clean, and soft, but not binding. A totally low-key pair of clean, small, soft, wool socks are just the ticket for overnight.

Take something along to scare off any critters that are simply annoying, or those that may be hoping to eat you. (A whistle or flashing strobe light may do. Consider ear plugs too, but under advisement: if you can't hear it coming, well, . . . .)

Keep critical items like car keys at your finger tips, or in a small, ZIPPERED, front pocket.

Back in the beginning, we used to make a camp fire at night or bring along a small Coleman stove for cooking. Now, we don't bother. Fires require tending, they require wood (which may be covered in crud, bugs, or poison ivy), and they can send embers out that can ruin your gear. Stoves and fuel can be tricky to pack and carry; a spill on your gear can be a catastrophe.

We typically take along cold sandwiches, snacks, and munchie bars. A bunch of small sandwiches are better than just a few big ones; backpackers do well on smaller, more frequent meals. A clean frisbee makes a good plate for eating on.

A real chair means a lot at the campsite, but is probably only feasible for a shorter backpack.

Something that smells good may help you sleep. A scented lotion for your hands, an item that smells of your favorite fabric softener, etc.

Bring your boots INSIDE the tent for the night. Nice backpacking boots are like catnip to porcupines. In the days before we had tents for camping out, a porcupine chewed my nearly $100 L.L. Bean boots which were sitting by my head as I slept; this was back in the 80s or 90s when that amount of money was so dear to me. I wrote them a letter explaining it all, and L.L. Bean gave me my $$ back, but I sure do miss those boots. I'm surprised they didn't consider porcupine damage "an act of God," but maybe it depends on whether you think porcupines are godly or godless creatures. *ponders that remark*

Use a frisbee to organize small items inside the tent and put them at your fingertips. Keep your watch nearby during the night, with your flashlight beside it.

Keep your tent zippered at all times unless you want company. Company could include any sort of creepy-crawly you can imagine.

Don't take anything along backpacking that it'll break your heart to break or lose. My husband has had these two experiences: having to float his backpack on top of his sleeping pad down a river; and having his backpack fly open, and everything fall out and scatter into a frozen crevasse in winter. Yeah, you might lose stuff if either of those things happens to you.

Wear one set of shoes for the trip to get there. Keep your backpacking boots in a bag and change into them when you get there. When you're done backpacking, change into your shoes and put your boots back in the bag. You might be surprised when you get home the amount of crud or pitch that ended up on your boots. Best to keep it contained till you can deal with it.

Leave a few snacks and drinks at the car for the ride home.

Watch for deer on your drive out of the woods.

Beware of aggressive drivers on the return trip home. It's surprising how often someone may try to ruin your woods happiness.

When you get home, check all campers for ticks or other insults. A shower when you get home isn't a bad idea if you have the energy and the time.

I immediately unpack ALL of my gear when I get home, air it out for a few hours, inspect it, roll it all up, and put it back in the closet before nightfall.

And that's all, folks!