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It's my Bday but doesn't quite feel like it. I am a big Bday person - always have been. Up until 3 or so years ago - they were week long celebrations...it's been like that all of my life, to some people bdays are just like any ordinary day, I just don't know any different.

My best bday...a few years ago - my friends rented a house in Key West and we had a blast for an entire week! House was one of my favorites - I visit Key West a lot and I always would walk past that house and admire it...yeah, it was totally amazing inside. I will never forget that bday - I was with the people I love, in the place thats like my second home...it was perfect. And thats what it's all about to me.

Today was nice - Noah's parents spend the entire day with me - yesterday as well. They're trying to make me feel at home and spend time w/ me, I appreciate it, I really do. We had breakfast...I won $350 at the casino...had a delicious dinner. Wish things were different, but they're not. It is what it is. I've got my list of Bday resolutions all written out and I have quite the list this year.

Picture on the left is from one of my favorite restaurants in town - I had to blip it...makes me smile every time! Picture on the right...view of the Sandia Mountains from the casino...I needed fresh air! I had a good day - I really did. And ohhh I got a aloe vera plant! I've always wanted one!

I did spend a lot of time this morning catching up w/ friends and family - I can't wait to go home next weekend and see them. Bday festivities will continue to next weekend ;) Can't wait to see Tara and Allen, having dinner w/ my friend Tera, DJ and I will probably end up eating Greek one night, need to see Jess and pick up some things for Josh, not to mention work dinners and um, spend time w/ the family! It's always so busy when I visit...but it's nice to see everyone.

Josh and I had a great talk this weekend as well - I've had some time to figure things out and his trip out here is back on. He is a good person and I so adore him...I deserve to be happy, I'd be stupid to not give it a chance. As soon as we hung up the phone - he sends me a text telling me how much he enjoys me and how I just brighten his day...he claims my good energy rubs off on him ;) I can say the same about him...he is so easy to talk to.

Josh wants to kind of pick up where we left off back at home...we connected so well and had great conversations. With most people you have to work on building trust - with Josh and I, it was just there, it's hard to explain. Especially with me, I dont trust people easily. It's been over two months since we've seen each other - Im excited as he is...I can't wait to see him...we've pretty much talked every day since mid March.

We shall see...feels good to be excited about this...someone great...someone honest...someone who can express their freaking feelings! Thats totally new to me! He doesnt put on a show - no ego, no games, what you see is what you get with Josh. And he loves sports as much as I do - which is a plus! Loves his toys as well - has 3 cars and 2 bikes...a total guy's guy.

Mostly, he is so down to earth...so comfortable with himself...and I totally respect and appreciate that. I'm secure and happy with myself...with who I am, my life, my job, my passions...the decisions I've made. I truly like and respect myself...and I see those traits in Josh as well...it's refreshing.

Who knows where this will go...whatever will happen I do know for sure that Josh will be in my life for a long time...there is no question about that. We're not strangers to each other - Kenny was our mutual friend for years - we've both heard of each other, but always somehow managed to miss each other. Kenny had a good group of guys in his life...so I'm not surprised Josh and I get along so well. He shall be blipped soon enough ;)

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A year ago...yeah, that was a long time ago. At that very moment...when I snapped this photo...I never thought that moment would end. I really didnt. Boy was I wrong. I was so filled with his love...now I'm doing everything I can to rid myself of it. I truly have never met anyone so selfish and heartless. I wish him the best and hope he is happy. Moving on...