Bud

Tiny Tuesday’s theme of ‘things beginning with B’ leads me to blip this tiny daisy bud, emerging petals tinged with pink. 

There’s a brief period of unexpected morning sunshine which coincides with me feeling a little better, capable at least of a few steps round the garden. Soon, the weather closes in; symbolically, dark clouds replace the sunshine just as my medical miseries return - so it’s another day spent on the sofa. 

Thanks so much for all your messages of kindness and concern in your responses to yesterday’s blip. Suffice to say, the situation is no better, and I’ve not yet seen a doctor. To add another ‘B’ to today’s challenge theme, our NHS is ‘Broken’. It’s impossible to speak to a doctor, let alone see one - after 11 attempts to even get into the phone queue at my surgery, I’m told there are no slots available even for a triage call. I’ll just have to call back tomorrow. Yes, I should have made a fuss, but I just put the phone down, defeated. 

I could call 111, or contact  ‘Out of Hours’ (only once the surgery is closed of course) - and of course, I could still go to A&E. This is some kind of vile UTI - far more vicious than anything I’ve ever had before - and it’s hard to even think of leaving the house. I’ve checked my temperature and it’s fine - so we opt to get through the day with more over-the-counter remedies - so the day proceeds in much the same way as it did yesterday. But I’m so scared that this is the beginning of the next phase of my as yet undiagnosed disease. 

But beyond my small scenario, the big picture is frightening. In England, four days of junior doctor strikes mean almost all elective procedures are cancelled as are outpatients appointments etc, and the impact will be weeks of disruption. On a purely selfish level, I wonder what this will do to my Liverpool appointments, tests and scans - yet more time waiting for a diagnosis and for treatment while my imagination runs wild thinking about that’s happening to my body. And for many others, it’s far worse. 

I have every sympathy with the junior doctors - and all NHS medical staff - but I just can’t forgive what our government has done to our once prized medical care system.