If Ryanair did hotels

Hotels by Ryanair?  I can just imagine what it would be like.  What was that, Sir, you expected your bed to be flat?  That would be an extra £20 please.  Sheets?  An extra £10.  And a pillow?  Another £5.  You thought it would be in a room?  Well, we can put it in a room but that will be an extra £50.  Oh, and if you actually fall asleep we add another £20 to your bill.  Sign here please.

Sorry?  You want to borrow a pen?  Hang on while we recalculate the final account.