Sheep may safely graze

Wensleydale from my little corner.

The scene, the restaurant, evening. The waitress a wonderful lady a la Julie Walters.

I started to get irate when long standing customers were given hugs and kisses as they finished their meals. No chance for me. So I said.

Are you from Scotland?

No I can't roll my Rs.

You can, I just watched you walk back to the kitchen.

Cue chaos, much choking at surrounding tables and a good kicking from Mrs Booty.