IVF Journey: Second IVF day 21

This is my IVF diary. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for nearly four years years now, and have a diagnosis of 'unexplained infertility'. We have finally reached the top of the waiting list for IVF - a form of assisted conception. I'm blogging about what happens as it happens, as a kind of therapy for me and as an awareness raising exercise of what IVF is all about.

I got this fortune cookie at the weekend. Looks like good news!

Day 6 and the injecting is going very well and is really just similar to last time.

It was a more than three weeks before I started bruising up last time, and I had assumed that was because I was sticking a needle in the same place every day. That has happened from day one this time, so I have changed my diagnosis. I think I am bruising up because I'm being less careful when I stick the needle in and not holding it so straight. That means I am approaching the process casually, which is a good thing. I might or might not try and pay a bit more attention, as the consequences really don't bother me. So far I'm just sticking it in virgin territory every day.

As last time in myself I feel different, but fine - coping OK. My mind is not working as it usually does as I am much more like a girly cliché in my responses than I usually am. I'm quieter, perhaps. I've felt jealous, which I don't usually feel. A few times I have felt irritable and I've known there was no rational reason behind it and that usually I wouldn't be bothered by the 'cause'. Also, again, I have no interest in sex and no sexual thoughts cross my mind. I can't predict myself, which is weird for me.

I worry about being hypocritical, because I know that I feel different about certain things than I usually do. I don't like that, I like to be internally consistent and as a person I'm very much driven by a strong set of internal ethics and values. To dilute the inevitable hypocrisy and confusing thoughts and behaviour I'm just trying to own my feelings, and be honest with my husband. Generally it is all quite tolerable. I've not cried or shouted or anything. Yet. Hehe.