Wannabe

Baby Bear wants so much to be just like his Big Brother. So so much. He couldn't keep his brother's helmet on his head so he went and got his own. Got his brother's belt to drape around his neck. Waved 'bye to me, and off he went, pushing his brother's bike along. It bothers him so, that he is too small to climb onto that bike. He's so cute.

Little Fishes this morning where we learnt about Daniel and the lions' den and made lion masks, sandwiches for lunch when we got back while Bean and Bear roared through their lion masks at Daddy until he went out to help with Re-Loved again, and then miraculously Bear actually fell asleep nursing at an actual convenient time, and slept a good hour on the bed upstairs before waking up perfectly on time to get ready to go out to our afternoon Wednesday group!

We did painting this afternoon. Bean got stuck in, he loves painting and it fascinates me that he's started painting semi-recognisable things now. Today's painting was a volcano! Bear got stuck in as well. He let me paint his palms and enjoyed slapping them down on the canvas, asking for more paint and more hand splats. He tasted the paint. I got paint on my jeans. The only clothes I ever manage to get paint on (other than my work clothes) are my "best" jeans. Somehow I always seem to manage to wear my best (as in, least worn) jeans whenever there's paint around. I cleaned him up and sent him off to play with the lego. Managed to get a canvas to paint by myself, which he noticed, and came over to help.

Bean had found and brought with him a tiny little Star Wars Imperial Guard to show his friend, and had then given it to me to look after - while I was painting. Bear decided it needed a bath. In the green paint. Repeatedly. I gave up. I managed to get almost all the green paint off afterwards :-/

But we had fun! It was good to paint together, constructively, with a specific timeframe, with stuff to occupy them with afterwards while the clearing up happened.

It's been a funny old day though. Bean and I have both been making real efforts to "stay friends", as in, to not wind each other up, to listen to each other, to be respectful of each other, to not shout at each other. It's been hard work for us both but we've already recognised the benefits. It doesn't help when you're tired though. He was tired after the painting session and we still had to go round the supermarket - and we had a full on meltdown because he didn't want either of the chocolate options I gave him, and wanted all the things he couldn't have. By the time we got to the checkout he was sorry and said he wanted the chocolate that I'd offered but it was too late. He cried and cried, saying he was sorry, but it really was too late, we'd paid, and needed to get home where there was chocolate he could have if he wanted. I am proud of myself for not yelling at him: I recognised my temper rising and as I held him in my arms I told him that I was getting close to losing my temper - not as a threat, but simply as recognition of how I felt in reaction to his dangerous behaviour. We made it to the car, he wanted a cuddle and so once Bear was in the car I gave him another cuddle and we agreed to get home out of the rain where we could have a proper cuddle.

Of course he fell asleep on the way home...

It's been a hard afternoon though. I made a loaf of bread, but that's all I achieved. I ended up shouting because the boys were bickering and hurting each other. I couldn't concentrate on making dinner so we grazed instead. And eventually Steve came home with a HUGE slab of cake for me so I had that for my dinner with a cup of coffee and some paracetamol...

Steve's been taking BOTH boys out for a drive the past couple of nights so we figured it would be safe for me to go to smallgroup so I have been OUT for an evening WITHOUT the kids AND WE ALL SURVIVED WITH NO TEARS!