Sir Picanuper's B*%@s

Gleetings ! Gravesend here ! Hello, hello !

Yes, it is joyous news, Gormley Trousers has been on a Top Secret Mission and has returned in Glory !

What Went Before...
All do know, up river is madness, the worship of filthy lucre and deep and dirty dastardliness. Sir Picanuper does say, to Trolls, Gonks, Things and sundry People & Aliens From Space “We shall hibernate and They will learn the error of their ways and when we awake it will be Sunlit Uplands.”

We all go to splendible comfy sleep: They learned only worser ways and there is no Sunlit Uplands in sight. Bah ! Sir Picanuper rises from lovely slumber and is woke. He calls his friends to him. Not all can come ! They are scattered hither and yon, perhaps they have been eaten by snakes ? Sir Picanuper must know !

“Where is Old Fred ? Where is Princess Poo ? Oh, where are my Boobs, Jeremy and Jeremy ? Oh…”
“I am here !” exclaims Gormley Trousers.
What ! Where..oh, it’s you. So.”
Gormley Trousers, of course, had hoped Sir Picanuper had forgotten, but he had not.
“I will redeem myself !” declares Gormley Trousers, bravely. “I will find them !”

To cut a long story (three volumes of 650 pages each, epic) short, he done did.

“Sir Picanuper !” calls Gormley Trousers “Here is Jeremy, polymath and Boob, and Jeremy, polymath and Boob, at your service !”
“Excellent !” says Sir Picanuper “Where have they been ?”
Jeremy and Jeremy are embarrassed. There is awkward silence.
Gormley Trousers clears his throat, “Hrrrmm, hummm...they was in the big Library, up river...in that place...correcting the mistakes.”
“Ha !” Sir Picanuper cries “Of course !”
“Yes, but it was right difficult, mind !” says Gormley Trousers “I had to fight hordes of beasties and crawling things and I got me neymars trodden on and...well, you know, I mean…”
“Say No More !” says Sir Picanuper “You are a fine upstanding Troll and a Hero and I do love Everybody Unreservedly, especially you, but always excluding Cliff Richard and that yokel.”

All is getting weller.

Walk Tall !