Who's Who In Gravesend Pt.1

Gleetings !

Today is Meet The Population Pt.1, it is exciting, a veritable Who’s Who of Gravesend.

Here is I,Robot, he is in the Infinitron, a Beebler Beebler device that has all knowledge in it, we keep it (the Infinitron) in a secret place waaay down below; it is quite easy to get in but quite difficult (taps nose) to get out, you get my drift. Har har.

I,Robot wants to be a great journalist like what Fyfe Robertson was; or perhaps, Jimmy Spankie. I,Robot is lacking many characteristics to be a proper roving reporter. The Infinitron examines I,Robot and begins to send suggestions, via Electro Spangles, brain enhancement pulses generated by Beebler Beeblerness.

“You could smoke a pipe, in photographs and on screen.”
“I cannot. I am an inorganic being.”
“Then you cannot grow a beard, either ?”
“I cannot.”
“Then you must develop avuncular geniality. I will send you some.”
“Yes, please ! Plenty of it !”
“A soupcon...it will grow.”
“A what ?”
“A soupcon...it’s what vulgarians say when they mean a small amount. You will learn these things as your avuncular geniality grows.”
“Splendible ! Goodness me, it’s working…”

Well, I hope you have enjoyed this little pen portrait of one of Gravesend’s ‘Great And Good’, cough cough. I,Robot will return with sentimental little homilies in due course.

Walk Tall !