Winter Light

I took a forty-minute walk this afternoon, pouring rain when I started and then suddenly it stopped and the clouds cleared for a blast of light on this woman holding a phone and a cigarette, framed as if she were in a movie. I thought of Bergman’s Winter Light. I looked up the original Trailer for it and had to laugh. I loved depressing movies back in 1963. I was seventeen, and I thought Bergman was the height of sophistication, artistry, and depth. I'd never seen one of his films, could only read about them. The town where I finished high school wouldn't run Bergman movies because they were considered scandalous, but when I went to college there was a film festival that offered them and I swooned over them. Say what you will, the visuals were gorgeous. 

Saw the back doctor. She thinks it’s time to begin pain relieving medication. I’ve refused up to now because I fear they contribute to cognitive decline, but I’ve agreed to try a low dose and see if I get some relief. I'm part of a long-term study that measures cognitive decline every three months, so I'll know if I start trending downward and will stop the meds if that happens. It's scary.