Nature therapy

I headed up to the reservoir today with a pack of fur from the floor robot. It was blowing a hoolie and I stopped at various points to let little bits free. I’m not sure that was so therapeutic for me but it made me content that we chose not to have ashes. 

I was mortified to find the first bits of frogspawn strewn on the mossy sides of the reservoir so rescued a lot before moving on a bit to find great clumps in the water. And a frog! They normally disappear fast and maybe it was the warmth, but up they kept popping, some arm in arm. Ribbitting! I didn’t ribbit back but I was squatting frog-like, watching close-up and taking photos. And smiling and chuckling which felt good when I realised their effect on my spirit.

Unfortunately for one of my moors buddies, they were my first contact since yesterday and as much as I’d like to have held it together, I didn’t. Couldn’t. I received a much appreciated hug and eventually calmed for a chat. 

I’ve since kept myself busy, repotting, painting a wall in the kitchen ten shades darker in blueberry pie, had a little rearrange of furniture there and left everything else where it was.  I did manage to enjoy teaching for an hour successfully (ie with no hiccoughs (literally or metaphorically!)) After turning off radio silence on my phone, I swapped some messages and discovered a beautiful bunch of flowers on the doorstep.

I am feeling the enormity of the loss of my little partner but I know what to do and I know not to expect more for Day One PLD.