Deja Vu...

One Friday afternoon in June 2009, I popped home from work at lunchtime as I'd forgotten my lunchbox. It was a lovely day so I decided to sit in the conservatory to eat my sandwich. All was well till I stood up to go back to work and I almost passed out with the pain that shot through my left knee. WTF??!!!

I stood for a second or two trying to catch my breath and make sense of what had just happened. Must have been sitting awkwardly I figured. Took a deep breath and tried to take a step. Another explosion of pain that actually made me scream out loud as hot tears filled my eyes. I knew immediately something was seriously wrong No shit Sherlock!

Long story short, I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis on the underside of my kneecap and told I needed a full knee replacement. A legacy of the injuries I sustained in the motorbike crash in my teens.

After further investigation it was decided that due to my age (young to be getting a full knee replacement) and the fact it was mainly my kneecap that was affected, I would have a partial knee replacement instead. This went ahead, successfully, in March 2010.

Roll on 3 and a bit years and over the past few weeks I've been aware of a bit of an ache in that knee. Over the last few days there's been a bit of stiffness too then last night as I was climbing the stairs to bed, three stairs from the top, I heard a crunching sound and felt that all too familiar, burning agony. I don't know yet how I managed to get up the remaining three stairs and into the bedroom.

After a virtually sleepless night (every time I nodded off I did that thing where you dream you're stepping off a kerb, which made me jump causing massive pain) I woke just before 7.30 and so began the tortuous routine of trying to move. It took me 4 hours and a lot of crying (and swearing!) to get to the loo, showered (I sat on a stool) and back to bed.

David has been a star (as usual) in looking after me and trying to help me as much as possible. He went to the chemist and came back with Ibuprofen gel (can't take it orally) and a Tens machine especially for knees. They have helped a little in that I can get from the bed to the ensuite loo in less than half an hour. I'm stuck upstairs though as there is just no way I could get down. Infact the only way would be to bum my way down but I can't get onto the floor. We have an assortment of different height stools that I can try and work my way on to until I can reach the floor, but that will have to wait till tomorrow, when hopefully my pain level may have dropped from nausea inducing, searing agony to unbearable burning agony.

But I know I need an x-ray. And I suspect I know what the suggested outcome of that will be. And I need ultra strong painkillers (that hopefully won't make me ill) And we're supposed to be going on holiday on Thursday. And I'm only half organised. And I have no clue how on earth I'm going to get in the car or on the ferry. And I'm worried about David who is trying to get up to date at work so he can relax on holiday. And now he's got me as well as Alan to look after. And my boy who wants to see his mum but can't because he can't get upstairs and I can't get down.

So I'm sitting here crying tears of pain, frustration and self pity (which is something I loathe) whilst David does his best to make me smile and keep my spirits up. He is a saint and he deserves so much better than this.

You'd almost think it was the 13th or something....