College Memories

I would have uploaded a picture of the best tutor in the world and me but I never asked her if I could put the picture on here and don't know if I'll get to ask so can't unfortunately. Here I wanted to talk about my last day at college...
When I first started at college, I was so worried I wouldn't have any friends. I've always felt like the odd one out throughout my whole school life; in primary and secondary school. I think this is because I was quiet unless I needed to speak and loud when I felt like it - because those times contrasted with each other so much, it probably made me look like a really weird person, which I think maybe I am but still, it's a horrible feeling when you feel like you have no-one. Anyway, the table I got seated at on my first day was with a girl called Megan, who I liked straight away. You know when you can just tell you really like someone and that you'll get on with them, well this is how it was with her. Also I was sat with another girl called Christie who was quiet but I thought she was nice, a girl called Jade who knew all the answers to the questions asked and a woman called Joy, who had tattoos of vines on her arms which looked cool. I felt sooooo awkward around everyone in the class at first - I had so many worries like for example, what if they make fun of me when I speak because I have a slow voice compared to other people - (I was picked on a lot in primary school because of it) and what if no-one likes me? I know, it was ridiculous - I knew I was a nice person who had a good, wacky sense of humour and I cared about people. I just thought that was what no-one cared about nowadays, they just wanted a shallow, media-consumed, heavy alcohol-drinking, self-destructive, unthinking person.
I was maybe partly right - lots of people value those things but not my friends, nope. Sure, some of them enjoy going out for a drink and yes, they like music from the media but they are caring, kind and thoughtful in a lot of ways. I'm lucky to have found friends like them, they're amazing.
In my first year at college, I had a tutor who liked to get things done but I could tell she was a bit fake towards people. I bet she cared in some ways but it didn't seem that genuine when she approached people who had been through something bad to ask them about it. Suppose I shouldn't really judge people like that because I don't exactly come across how I want to sometimes.
The tutor I had in the second year is the best tutor I could have ever asked for. She was amazing - I loved her kindness, caringness, sense of humour, sense of fun, how she just said what she wanted and could keep talking forever if she wanted but it was still interesting even if she'd been talking for ages. I also thought she was pretty but that's not a reason to like someone, I just wanted to say it. She had lovely brown eyes, a nicely structured nose who's nostrils didn't show at all really (mine really do, that's why I look for it on other people lol) and a nice wide mouth with big plump lips which moved with great expression when she spoke, especially about something she was passionate about e.g. keeping children safe or the importance of play for children. She was so caring when I came to her with a problem - I felt like I could talk to her about anything I wanted and that she cared and understood me so well. I felt the same towards her - that I cared about her and would probably be able to understand her if she came to me with a problem. She gave me confidence that my feelings were valid when I told her that I got nervous when going on the bus when I told her about it - it was really bothering me at the time and she talked to me about it after college and didn't rush the conversation on at all. She really did care. She also knew what to say to encourage me when I was getting bad grades in assignments. The other tutor gave me no hope - she said "I don't think you'll get your C, you'll probably get an E or a D." Even though I was trying so hard and C was what I really wanted. All I needed was someone who believed in me - I was about to give up altogether after hearing that but Hayley (my favourite tutor) always wrote on the bottom of my assignments "Come on Grace, you can do this!" Also told me I could do it when I spoke to her on my own in 1-1 times. That encouraged me so much, that simple thing she kept reminding me, and I actually managed to get the C in the end!
She has helped me so, so, so much throughout college and I feel like the most lucky person ever to have been put in a class with her as my teacher. I honestly could say that I think I liked everything about her and won't forget her, ever.
My friends from college, well, I wrote something on each of their walls over the weekend after we'd left, here you go, you can have a nosey at what I said to them...

To Megan, I feel so lucky to have met you. You're one of the most fun, kindest people I've met and you always care about people. I've enjoyed being at college because of being able to spend time with you and it's always cheered me up having you sit near me in class I'll miss seeing you five days a week, not just because I won't get to poke you and stuff but it was nice having you around a lot. Do you remember uni-chem? That was so funny lol. I knew from the day that I liked you and that we'd get along really well, I was right I've loved the way we could talk to each other about everything, I find it easy to talk to you about all kinds of things and don't with many people. I enjoyed hearing you talking/saying funny stuff to your friend on the phone some lunchtimes too lol, you manage to stay on the phone for ages :L I enjoyed yesterday, it was a day to remember Hope I see you soon, love Grace. xx

To Chloe, I have loved knowing you at college, over these two years you have been kind, caring and so fun to be around you have a great sense of humour and you consider things which so many other people I've met don't seem to. You're someone who I feel I can relate to more than a lot of people and you always seemed to understand me when I told you how I felt about things. I want to say thanks for being there for me and I'll always be there for you too. I've always found it easy to talk to you about everything, you have a nice aura and I can tell you genuinely care about your friends a lot. I had lots of fun with you yesterday even the scheme at Terror Tower you and Megan plotted with the man against Christie and me! Hope I see you soon, love Grace. xx

To Christie, you're a good friend, you're really fun to be around, and I like your sense of humour. We've had a good laugh together about things and I like your calm, collected presence you have. I admire how you seem to be calm about things basically all the time. You have a lovely calm aura which I feel relaxed around and that's quite a rare thing to have. I'm going to miss you. I especially enjoyed yesterday when we went in Terror Tower together and you cared about me enough to let me hold your hand when I was scared lol :L I'll always remember our time there haha. Hope I see you soon, love Grace. xx

To Beckie, I'll miss you, I've enjoyed knowing you at college and liked how you understood the way you should put things across to people. You're really good at knowing what to say to someone on a text message lol. I've not seen you dance before but know you're good at it from what I've heard. Keep smiling, you can cheer others up so make sure you always look after yourself as well :) I'm here for you. You've been a good friend. Remember to keep going with your dreams and let your instincts guide you. Hope I see you again soon, love Grace. xx

To Jade, you're one of the smartest people I know when it comes to doing work, you always know what to do in all situations. I never quite understood how lol. I admire how you always seemed to feel like putting the effort in at all times, you must have a lot of enthusiasm which will definitely come in handy in the future. I wish you all the luck at university, I know you'll do well. Thanks for the advice when I felt down about things, you gave a good perspective from a point of view I didn't consider sometimes and it helped me. I know we haven't been the closest but I am going to miss you. It was nice knowing you at college and I hope I'll see you again, love Grace. xx

On the actual last day of college, we came in just for the morning to pick up our things and say bye to everyone. I told myself I wouldn't cry but I did. I got to express how much I would really miss Hayley and really needed to to be honest. I can never put my real feelings into words - seriously I always feel like even though I've tried to show and tell someone how much I care about and love them, the words are never enough. I gave her a huge hug and got two pictures of us together which I want to print off really so they're safe. Hayley even cried when I was saying how much I'd miss her and when she saw me crying. I will miss her so, so much.

I will miss all these people in different ways as you can see, the relationship between us all is special in it's own way and I'll treasure the memories between us all that we've had from college and outside college. We're going to keep meeting once a month for sure and keep in touch so it's not the end of everything. I'll definitely miss Hayley a lot, she said to ring if I had a job interview or needed a reference from her so I'll ring if I get chance.
I have the chance to spend time with my friends from college and we're going to make new memories and have lots of fun together so I'm not leaving the past behind but I'm going to move on and make each day count (which sounds so cheesy but I will.) I'm excited for the future but always need to remember to think of the present moment.

That's important actually: Thought for the day:you shouldn't just focus on the past or future - think of now, act upon what your instincts tell you and enjoy living this day, right now. Go on and do it and you won't be living with worry or regret. Make the most of each precious moment you're given.

I actually applaud anyone who has took the time to read this - I don't expect anyone to have done, it was written because I wanted to have chance to express myself in some way, not just for people's entertainment. If you were entertained though, you can leave a comment or something, I'd appreciate it. Thanks for reading it if you have :) Grace x