Ragged edges

It's funny how most people just go through life and not think about dying. i think about it a lot. Not dying now, but when i am old. Do older people just realize they are old and just learn to except that they are going to die at some point? I almost feel bad for them. going to sleep every night, not knowing about their plans the next day. It must be sad. Or do they hope for some miracle where they can bring the old and wrinkled back to wrinkled free. When i was little, i used to be afraid of the word death. I am not anymore, but i am currently trying to understand it. What it means to know you are dying and to try to live life to it's fullest, or to have a whole life ahead of you, and to live and learn. I like to believe there is a Heaven, where i will meet up with my lost relatives and friends. Where there is no end, but in another world, life is continued. Just think about a Las Vegas in Heaven. When i see the sunset, i think about the view from Heaven, and how pretty it must be. All the lights, it must never be dark there. I have always wondered what it would be like to see the white lights and the big gate. Maybe a big field, with big dandelions that spread white seeds everywhere. With weeping willows that drooped down to greet you. My dad used to talk about when i am his age now, and he is old. i would plug my ears, but the thought wouldn't go away, i was sad. I used to hate thinking about death, but as weird as it is, death is apart of life.