The Great Bonfatto's Hoagie Tragedy

I had lunch plans with dear friends, and though it was a day with pouring-down rain off and on, my husband and I went on from there to run a bunch of errands. We bought a whole carload of stuff here and there, and we ended up at the Bellefonte Library, picking up books my husband had ordered online.

As the afternoon wore on, and we completed our errands, my husband made the very good suggestion: that we pick up a Bonanza Sub (better known as a hoagie in these parts) at Bonfatto's, and tuck it into the cooler to split later on at home.

This is what you see in the photo: one nine-inch Italian hoagie, with everything. It features specialty meats, including provolone and salami. "Everything" means lettuce, onions, tomatoes, hot pepper relish, parmesan, oregano, oil, and vinegar.

We got home, unpacked the car, and settled in to enjoy our hoagie. Look at that messy wrapper there down front. That's the hot pepper relish and parmesan having a party and going wild. Isn't it awesome?

Well, here is the sad ending to our tale. I got about two bites of this marvelous concoction in me before I felt and heard a weird crunching sound in my mouth. I broke a tooth! It was not the hoagie's fault, oh no. The hoagie was perfection. It did nothing wrong.

The last time I was at the dentist, he identified a tooth in the top right front part of my mouth, about the third tooth from center, that already had a crown on, but had decay under it. He wanted to replace the crown.

We scheduled an appointment for late June to start the work. On the first appointment, they remove the existing crown, clean out the decay, and put on a temporary. On the second appointment, they remove the temporary and put on the real crown. Apparently, late June was not soon enough!

It was only 4 p.m., and the dentist's office was still open, so I called them and asked if they could move my appointment up. I explained about my Bonfatto's hoagie tragedy: I had half a hoagie sitting in front of me that I could not even finish eating! 

As I bemoaned my fate on the phone, I heard my husband take my remaining hoagie, move it to HIS plate, and take over where I left off. Let no hoagie go to waste in this house! The lady gave me an appointment the first week of June, with a promise to put me on speed dial, in case anyone cancels in the meantime.

So here is where we're at: I am down a tooth, sadly enough, a pretty obvious front one. It does not hurt, but I can't eat very well. In fact, my hoagie days are probably done until this situation gets rectified. 

I sound funny when I talk, with a tiny bit of a lisp. I look like Jed Clampett's sister when I smile broadly. And things feel really weird inside my mouth: my confused tongue keeps running on over to the empty spot and going, "HOLY COW, WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON IN HERE!!!???"

I also have a sneaking suspicion that the little bit of tooth that's left is not going to be enough to support a new crown. I fear that we may be heading down the path of something more complicated, like an implant. I HAD one of those. It was expensive and it took several YEARS to get it all handled. Oh, Lordy. Please, NOT THAT.

But step 1 has been taken: in two weeks, I have an appointment with the dentist for a consultation. Let's hope the worst of my fears don't come true. Wish me luck!

My soundtrack song is Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers, with Broken Lady.