Happy birthday to me!

Well today I turn 37!!! Midway point to my forties and that in itself scares me! I am sorry it a blip from my phone but just a little pre-occupied to tonight! Today has been a strange day at school as not many people know it's my birthday as it's not something I go round bragging about. So until they see the cakes I left they don't know to say anything.

But it's been nice nonetheless. As usual my hubby went all out and got me a macro lens for my camera which I am flabbergasted that he went to so much trouble! Any tips for macro photography will be gratefully received! It is something I love seeing and taking - but have only used the macro setting on the zoom lens before. I got many other things from family members too and lots of kind messages in cards and through social media which is nice. So all in all a pleasant day. This weekend we will go out and celebrate!!!

I have taken a moment today to reflect a little about my life. I lead a small life - a life where I don't make a massive difference to anyone in particular. The children I work with are great but as they are so small you are not always remembered or appreciated really. I know my husband loves me dearly as I do him and he would move heaven and earth for me. And I know my lovely cats do too!

But little things today have made me stop and think. There are two adverts at the moment that are ones I struggle with regarding families and babies that are hard to ignore as they link to Christmas and something I will never have. If I think back now I never really thought a lot about my future and what it would look like. But I assumed that I would have a typical family set up one day and as a I get older I know this is harder to achieve.

As I sit back and reflect on my life so far and where I am going now I need to stop and appreciate what I do have and be grateful for the things in my life. If we had children we would never afford the life we have and I would never get gifts like this. But you can't keep thinking of the 'what ifs' or the 'if only' and comparing my life with what I thought it would be. I am tired of being sad about a life that I never had. I really must begin to feel more positive and try to be happy!!! So although it's my birthday and it should be a happy time I need to take stock, give myself a kick up the arse and start to move on. Life might not be what I expected but only I can make a change now and move on! So here's hoping the next birthday I will start to feel happier and start to see more purpose in what I do!