It was my last session of CBT therapy today. I thought it seemed like a significant time, and this image seemed kind of like something to, not memorialise, because it's not that momentous, but something that would be a bit meaningful for me that I could also share on here. I suppose in a way I wasn't having particularly grand thoughts when taking this photo, they were even a bit un-grand - I just thought about how I needed to share something on blipfoto, and that it would just be something that had some meaning for me, and people might find it interesting and a nice photo. That wasn't all I was thinking and feeling though, and I think that the fact that I had shallow thoughts in some ways when taking the photo doesn't mean that there weren't things I meant sincerely in it too. Also.. The comparatively more banal things, like the thought that the scene was nice, aesthetically, for a photo to share online - that I liked the frame of the window, the clock and the flower - that's something that I thought and felt, even if it was banal, and something that resulted in a preserved image of my own, so they mean something too.
It's a bit sad as there is not that much access to NHS funded therapy in the UK, so I got only 6 sessions, which I don't feel was enough to help me. However, I feel lucky that we can even get that, and that we can get free healthcare (I really really hope this continues for us with the NHS). Sometimes life feels like such a struggle, and sometimes I do feel a lack of care and understanding from society at large that makes me feel misunderstood and trapped. However, the fact that there are kind people, such as my therapist and others, has helped me so much, and I do have some hope and belief in our society. Maybe this picture can rind me of my hope for the future!
- Apple iPhone 4S