The BARD

Well it's Burns Night tonight so many a folks will be doing there poetry and eating Haggis and drinking Whisky so I was out in Edinburgh today and it was a little windy then I ate homade soup that created more wind so in honour of Rabbie Burns my poem toinight in the tongue of auld Scots in Honour of The Bard Himself titled

With all that wind about my poem can only be

ODE TAE A FART

Tae A Fart

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie.
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Start workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the saunci face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A'body's gonn hae tae pay
Pressures building you try to stifle
It'll soon be oot like a bullet fae a rifle

Hawed yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leakin air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray to god it doesnae leak

But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
Richochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom

God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae Shit ma breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aw whit the hell it's no my worry

A'body roon aboot me fair chokin
Wan or twa are nearly bokin
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

Wis him ! I shout with accusin glower
Alas ! too late he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
An a feel welcome nae mair

Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free
Sounds like just the job for me
Whit a fuss at oor Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o wan wee farty






Happy Burns Night A'body Lang may yer Lums reek
Movie for the day is "Poetry In Motion 1982" See Ya