Chocolate, again

I've never enjoyed Ferrero Rochers as much as I'm doing at the moment. From being just an interesting looking chocolate, it has become one of the favourites! If one decides to have it a bit slowly (the idea of savouring food little by little instead of gobbling it up like some uncouth gluttonous ass, as S would always remind me about), it does bring a lot of satisfaction (can't think of another word). There's no need to have two at a go. One is enough. The effect lingers on.

On another note, was reminded of a conversation with a college friend. In our final semester, while we were doing our interships together, I had expressed a whim. We already had our jobs by then and were about to join in a few months. I had said that for a brief period, I would like to work at McDonalds perhaps, or even do something simpler, worth a meagre wage. I thought it would be an interesting experience for a while. He thought it was unthinkable and much below his league. He asked, how could I think of something as lowly as this and lower my standards? Had I no self-respect? Why could I not think of something "higher?" Was this who I was? His strong reaction, expressing a kind of apathy had taken me a bit by surprise.

In another case, with a different person, I noticed this overwhelming urge to express, to have an opinion; to create an environment for the sole purpose of eliciting responses about good taste, character, wisdom, whatever...

There is something very similar about both these situations. Both people were trying to create an image of themselves and live up to it. In so many cases around me, I see the idea of self and identity being reduced to just this. It is usually the result of a refusal to acknowledge (escape from) what lies beneath to create something on the surface, which due to a kind of social acceptance over a period of time might masquerade as the truth, thereby blinding us from it. This is nothing more than a manifestation of self-doubt.

The irony here is people who doubt their individuality often try too hard to have an "identity."