Bureaucracy

is called "Bürokratie" here and is positively Kafkaesque in its functioning.

This letter was from the Pensions Agency and they've got their knickers in a right twist over the fact that I haven't given them an authenticated certificate that says I attended school and what years I was there.

They can't take my word for it. Goodness only knows what sort of chaos would be unleashed on the world if they did that. So I have to get a certificate from my old school. I have sent the school a couple of E-Mails but have had absolutely no response, probably been filed straight to Trash.

This is a wee bit annoying because, as anyone who has dealt with a German Government Department knows, they won't give up asking me for this useless piece of paper and it will matter not a jot that I keep telling them that I can't get one. I'm half thinking of forging one.

But that's a secret between us. And the NSA. And GCHQ. So, not really a secret at all. And now I won't even consider the thought of forging a certificate that says I went to school from 19heehaw until 19was-it-really-that-long-ago?

Still I think it's quite sweet that they sign off "Ihre Deutsche Rentenversicherung", that's something like "your German Pension Insurance". As if I could possibly be interested in any other pension insurance department...