wingpig

By wingpig

coming soon to a stem near you

Now that modern CGI is able to create pretty much anything one can imagine (albeit slightly ropily where the budget wasn't quite up to it) it's high time someone started remaking or continuing films of the general theme of animal grows very large due to nuclear testing/living undisturbed in the sewers/magic then escapes/lands/is retrieved by explorers and starts killing/eating/infecting/flattening people in large city, often one with large storm rains for it/them to hide/lurk in. The Aphids might obviously have a limited audience but Slug (whilst still using a mild-mannered gardener as the reluctant hero) would have much more amusing death scenes. It could even have a teaser trailer featuring nothing but a teasing trail.

On a similar theme and still within the phylum Mollusca I reckon Disney should perhaps make up for poorly mis-using Captain Tentacle-Face in the waste-of-celluloid Pirates III by filming Octopus! in which (as previously pitched in this very journal) a giant octopus wreaks havoc after escaping from an aquarium/bioweapons research laboratory and which would feature lots of CGI footage of the said Octopus! scuttling about with lots of little popping suckery noises and snapping at people with its beak. It could even get away with speaking if they gave it a character somewhere between one of Ian M. Banks's Affronters and Agent Smith. Scuttling and beak at the very least, though. That's where they went wrong with the Kraken in Pirates II too; no beak and no scuttling whatsoever. At least Nighy made a couple of popping noises although I'm almost certain that Davey Jones should have been done with a Welsh accent. Maybe they felt that the line "Do you fear death?" wouldn't have sounded quite as threatening as it did in a Scottish-ish accent. I wonder if they tested the line "Can your mother sew, eh pal?"

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