The Fag Casanova

By thefagcasanova

The Shop.

Hello, this is what I believe you lot call a 'Backblip' and is the closest I'll ever come to doing a backwards somersault.

I may or may not have mentioned that I am moving flats soon (next week to be exact) as I seem to do with alarming frequency, like a less exciting Incredible Hulk character; doomed to wander the suburbs of Leeds, desperately searching for a home.... Then the tanks come, with their guns and noise and anger, oh the ANGER... Then it's time to move on again, usually down a railway track with maudlin violin music playing in the backgr... Alright, alright it is NOTHING like that, but I do move flat a lot.

Moving is obviously an eye twitchingly stressful time - a subject I will save for the inevitable 'Moving Day' blip - and it throws up some unexpected quandaries too.

For example, this is a picture I took of our current local shops as I went to get the Sunday paper.

After I got home I realised that, that would probably be the last time I'd ever go in there for my Observer and that pretty soon I would also probably never go in there again for anything.

This left me feeling quite deflated and confused, as a smoker I have visited that shop at least twice a day (the second time to get whatever it was I went for in the first place. Nicotine can have quite a blinkering affect on the shopper), every day for the last 5 or 6 months and thus interacting with the same two people twice a day, pretty much every day (don't get me wrong, we barely set the world alight with conversation, the longest ones we have are when they mishear me and give me 10 fags instead of 20, then I correct them and we laugh.. Awkwardly. No, The Algonquin Table, it aint, but we've never argued in that time, nor grown bored of each other's company or any negative encounters at all.

That is not a relationship I have with many people, yet I am moving away and am unlikely to see them again, what's the protocol for that? Do I tell them? Do I pop a thank you card in? Will they get me one? Actually, that's unlikely as I'd probably have to buy the card from them, so it would ruin the surprise and make me seem cheap. Also, they don't know I'm moving...

Will I miss them? I mean. I know I won't miss their shop; with its selection of dreadful - yet over priced - 'fine' wines, disproportionate ratio of Daily Sport's, Mail's and Express's in comparison to the singular Guardian they APPARENTLY get in, that I am always "too late" for and their unerring loyalty to the 'Happy Shopper' line of groceries, which - if you haven't tried their bread - tastes exactly like licking the underside of an old cardboard box.

No, it's a pretty shabby place.

Will they miss me? Should I care this much?

Oh well, I'm sure there will be a new shop to go with the new flat. A rebound shop with massive counters, short queues and cheap tequila no doubt.

I'll get past this in time. Don't worry.

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