Lost & Found

The thing I have loved about writing this blog thus far, is that not only am I constantly on the look out for the next shot on my camera, but I am forever searching for occurring themes in the day to write about. Yet, today, I didn't even need search for it, because it was definitely felt. Loss, may not be the happiest subject to talk about, but it's very much in common place with everyday life and is often an avoided subject. But sometimes, it can't be avoided and needs to be dealt with face first. Today, an old pal, Gemma, was leaving Brighton to chase a radical new life in the Faulklands. Although I may not live in Brighton, I spend enough time down there to feel at home and a loss to the friendship group is very much a loss to me as it is to everyone else. Now, I'm not being all melodramatic, I will see Gemma again, but having to say goodbye reinstated the melancholy thought I often push to the back of my mind - Nothing is forever, the only constant is change.

I have been coming down to Brighton since I was fourteen, almost ten years ago now. Of course, friendship circles have developed and changed over time, but faces always remained familiar. But since I have gone to university, since, I suppose, I have found my feet, the group of friends I have down there seem to have really firmed up and close connections have been established. But the life I am now used to down there, my retreat, is not forever. It will change, for better or for worse, but it will not always be as I would like it to remain. It's a fact of life, one that doesn't need to only be adjusted to, but embraced. Knowing that everything is finite, means you should enjoy the moment so much more and cherish the memories of the times passed. With that being said, and following with the theme of loss, we later went to the beach for a memorial of a friend's grandfather, who died last year. We each got given a balloon, to which we would write the name of a lost one and release in to the wind. I lost my mother five years ago, and oddly enough, out of all that time, this was the first time I did something to commemorate her. This was nothing selfish, but it was such a traumatic time I would have rather left it be and just carried on. But I realised, then, that the past is what constitutes the present, and it should not be forgot. Releasing the balloon had a nice therapeutic effect on accepting the past and allowing it to just be, rather than dwelling upon it or worse, forgetting it happened all together.

But - to finish on a positive - life is not only filled with change, but it is also filled with paradox, with balance. Ying-Yang. Although today I lost a friend, at least for now, I also reunited with an old one. The night before, we went out to celebrate one last time with Gemma, at which time I also bumped into an old friend from school, Alyx. We ended up chilling on the beach (as well as spontaneously skinny dipping) way until the sun poked it's head over the horizon. This is when I snapped this picture. Excuse the quality, I only had my phone with me at the time. But I liked its desolate setting, and I feel it fitted in well with the theme for the day.