Deep in the Midst of Thought

Womack - Lonely (Mark Rae Edit)

As she sits to pass the time, the times of memory passes by. Drinking coffee and smoking away seconds just to relieve the pain inside only for a brief moment. It always comes back, and when it does it hits harder. His name keeps running through her mind like a painful torture trap without solace. Walking through a daze, all faculties work, yet the brain just can't break out of the shackles. Day by day, pain by pain. Hope only keeps the spirit going, hoping that it won't go away.

Today was a good day with a mate, then straight for a coffee to reassess my day (the place where I took this photo). Off to a soul destroying shopping mall to hopefully find something to buy. The only thing I bought was a steak from the food court.

This is my last day of my holidays and I wanted so bad to do something amazing, but I went straight home after the mall, accepted the fact that it was going to be like this, then went straight to the gym to hopefully increase my longevity, then bought healthy food to prolong the hope even more. Got the washing done, my bike repaired and borrowed films (to which I owe my passion to aside from music) just to see how amazing people can create something out of nothing. I saw Ridley Scott's The Counselor which was very good in my opinion. A killer cast with a crazy script (a little pretentious for some but true for me). It was so stylish and amazing that it made me feel extremely low and insecure. I want to make 20 million but not in that fashion and seeing these unrealistic expectations just makes me feel stupid. But as the script in the film said, I have made my choice and am living in the world to which I have already created. Tough luck.

I will make my choices for the future and I will grow stronger everyday, nothing is going to stop me, because I am I.