Heightened Adrenaline Rush / Clarity

Leftfield - Rino's Prayer

Today was spent going to Green Valley in Aichi to do bungee jumping for the first time with a friend. Although the jump tower was not as tall as I expected, it's good to start small first before going onto something bigger. Despite being "small" it was still bloody scary. Perhaps 15 meters high or so, I made my way to the top full blast and mentally looked forward to build my confidence. At the top of the tower I had to sit down and wait until the previous person jumped. I looked down for a moment and BAM! Scare time. Nonetheless, if other people can do it, so can I. The cord was attached to me by the front which I didn't expect and even though I was given the option to go head first, I couldn't make out the supervisor's instructions, not only because my Japanese is very weak, but because I was fighting the shakes. I wanted to jump head first but I didn't want to be twisting wildly in the air so I had to keep it mentally simple. I grabbed the cord with my hand forwards and decided to jump feet first. The instructions were just too complicated at the time. He told me if I wanted to go head first I need to put the cord between my legs and my hands behind my head but when I put it over I looked down to do it..... oh dear.

I was ready so the supervisor said, "1,2,3..... BUNGEE!!!!" and I was like, "Yeaaaahhh......NO, no, no, no, no! Hang on, hang on!" Haha, shook it off and said, "Yup! Let's do it!" "1,2,3.... BUNGEE!!!"

Wow, it was a rush. I was falling mid-air and my body said you should be expecting floor anytime soon, but the fall kept going and I vividly recalled dreams where I was falling and breaking out of my body. Silence filled my ears as I felt friction from the air brush my skin on the way down. I slowly turned in the air and was falling back first and as the cord reached its full tension I rose back up to feel the lift and drop once again. It was extremely cathartic and wonderful. I felt I had broken something mentally which gave me confidence and clarity.

In my life, I realize that when I'm under pressure to make a decision I usually have an ideal goal that I always fall short of in order to keep safe. For example, I wanted to buy either a Canon 7D or a Canon 60D. I was deliberating for months but when I saw a much cheaper option for the 60D I just jumped for it yet still regretted not buying the 7D which was a lot more expensive at the time. Don't get me wrong, I have no qualms with the 60D but I know that I would probably have been happier with the 7D.

I've made a lot of decisions in my life where I play it safe, and at the moment of jumping I noticed this. I need to build the courage within myself to just go for EXACTLY what I want. I've done it before, achieved it and been immensely happy. I believe this is something I need to work on. Clearly this is a habit I need to hone and hopefully cancel out the old one. Life's too short.

As I was bouncing and holding on to the rope, I realized there was nothing to worry about so I just let go. It felt great. Landing on the pad my legs were shaking a little, but damn it felt good. I want to go again.