Controlled.

Such a tidy beard!
And look at that coiffure, not a hair out of place.

Except we know there's no such thing as control don't we?
All we can do is participate and try to effect the course or outcome.
And if it goes unexpectedly awry, try to make peace with it.
Find a place where you can feel ok.

Not easy. But the only way forward.
Maybe I'm growing up. Maybe I'm giving up.
But either way, how I react to something is maybe the only thing I can
have a modicum of control over.