Seeing red.

Fucking eye has gone bloodshot again.
Big blood vessel burst. Just like that. It doesn't hurt. It just looks grim.
I didn't even notice till people started vomiting spontaneously around me.
Actually, not even then. People often vomit around me.
Especially if I'm not wearing any clothes.
One man put his head in a microwave oven in order to burn the memory of my naked body from his brain, but he ended up giving himself a Kevin Keegan perm. On the plus side it cleared his sinuses and he could suddenly sing soprano.

My eye thing must be stress I reckon.
I'm so tense right now I can't even bend my legs or open my eyes properly.
I'm walking like Douglas Bader and squinting like
Patrick Moore looking into the sun.
Still, if I had a fancy dress party to go to at the weekend, I'd have two popular media figures to choose from.