Freedom and space

The night wasn't the best but I got some sleep, even if I again woke up at four in the morning. I fell a sleep a couple of times after that. It was a hazy sunny morning, very warm.

After doing a few thing at home (note my "new home" is becoming "home") and having lunch I packed my backpack with my camera, a bikini, a towel and a bottle of water and took my bike and drove to Haukilahti beach. It is a bit further from Westend beach and I like it more. It was really hot. I think the air temperature was more than +30°C.

When I came to the beach, which was about 5km from my home I changed clothes quickly and went straight into the sea. It was wonderfully cool and almost no wind. I was swimming for quite a while just enjoying the wonderful water. As I was in the water I got this idea of making a low angle shot there.

I went back on the beach for my camera, and back into the water. I waded a bit so that I could kneel on the bottom of the sea and start shooting. It was very delightful.

Afterwards when I sat on a warm rock just listening to sounds of the waves and the soft breeze I felt very relaxed. Suddenly I got this vision of how my mind was. There was so much space! So when the mind is relaxed it creates space. Space in this case was exactly the same thing as peace. What a feeling! It was pure joy. Very peaceful joy. Freedom and space.

This feeling has been following me all day since it appeared. I'm amazed. Where did this come from? I don't feel alone, at all. I feel that I'm in pretty good company with myself. And this has nothing to do with self-sufficiency.

All the wonderful people around me giving their love and sharing this hard time I have had have truly lifted me up from the dark hole. I have worked very hard to make this happen. But I didn't expect to heal so soon. Even if I'm falling back to the dark again, at least I know that it is possible to find such a beautiful place in your own mind.

Thank you all!